Imam William ICNA Statement
All Praise be to Allah in every situation! These were the last words of Br. Mercellus Williams is also known as Imaam Khalifah. His execution was carried out yesterday, Tuesday, September 24, 2024, at a prison in Bonne Terre in Missouri, despite objections from the victim’s family and prosecutors who sought to have his conviction overturned. ICNA reiterates that execution of an individual without fulfilling all the legal requirements and evidences is the ultimate miscarriage of justice. If there is a possibility of error, Islamic jurisprudence leans toward mercy and leniency. The emphasis is on protecting life rather than risking the potential for injustice. In Islam, the principle of avoiding the death penalty in the presence of doubt is rooted in the value of justice and mercy. This principle is well known in the Books of Fiqh “Avoid applying the hudud (prescribed punishments) in cases of doubt”; This emphasizes that if there is any uncertainty regarding the guilt of the accused, the death penalty should not be applied. In this case in question, there were several areas of doubt and uncertainty, including the most powerful evidence; the DNA that concluded that the evidence found did not match that of Imaam Khalifah. Yet there was this urge to carry out this execution. One wonders why! The problem is that here in the USA, we claim to be champions of human rights, especially when criticizing others, but fail to uphold those same principles in our own practices. This contradiction between words and actions weakens not only our moral authority but undermines public confidence in the judicial and legal systems. Words and actions do not match! ICNA offers condolences to the family, friends and community of Imaam Khalifa and call on the Muslim Community and people of conscience to ensure that such injustices do not happen again on our soil and for this, we have a lot of work to do. May Allah SWT bless our dear Imaam and grant him Jannatul Firdous. All Praise be to Allah in every situation!
USCMO Condemns Israeli Attacks on Civilians in Lebanon, Calls for U.S. to Force Gaza Ceasefire
(Washington, D.C., 9/24/2024) – The US Council of Muslim Organizations (USCMO) – the nation’s umbrella group of national, regional, and local Muslim associations – strongly condemns the Israeli government’s expansion of its genocide in Gaza and ethnic cleansing in the West Bank to an indiscriminate mass bombing campaign against civilians in Lebanon. USCMO also called on the Biden administration to stop the Israeli government’s attempts to drag the U.S. into an all-out war by forcing a ceasefire in Gaza. In a statement, USCMO Secretary-General Oussama Jammal said: “USCMO strongly condemns the Israeli government’s indiscriminate bombing of civilians in Lebanon and calls on the Biden administration to end American military and financial support until the out-of-control Netanyahu government accepts a permanent ceasefire in Gaza, completely withdraws from Gaza, and ceases its indiscriminate war on the people of Lebanon. We pray God protects the innocent peoples of the Middle East and saves the region from more death and destruction paid for with American taxpayer dollars.” The Israeli indiscriminate bombardment of Lebanon today – exclusively targeting heavily populated civilian centers – bears the monstrous hallmark of Israeli military doctrine of deliberately attacking civilians. Here are the horrors it wreaked (with its U.S.-made weaponry) on Lebanon’s population in just hours today: ➟ 35 Children Killed ➟ 39 Women Killed ➟ 492 Civilians Killed ➟ 2 Medics Killed ➟ 1,246 Seriously Wounded That means in less than a week, the Israeli military’s civilian-killing war machine has deliberately obliterated more than 500 innocent lives. This is Israeli military doctrine. Giora Eiland, former military head of the Israeli National Security Council and head of IDF Planning, recently articulated this publically, justifying his plan for the complete ethnic cleansing and total siege of northern Gaza: “The slogan that ‘only military pressure will bring victory’ has no basis whatsoever. The wars of the 21st century are based on something else. The most important parameter is [targeting] the population, and those who can control the population win the war,” he said. “You [have to] take away both [the population’s] land and dignity.” USCMO condemns Israeli aggression into Lebanon and its doctrine of targeting civilians. It calls on the Biden administration to publically make clear the U.S. will not support or engage in Israeli wars in the Middle East. USCMO calls for an immediate U.S. Israeli arms embargo and a cessation of all American military and financial support until the Israelis have accepted a permanent ceasefire in Gaza, completely withdrawn from Gaza, and ceased its aggression against Lebanon. We pray that God protects the innocent peoples of the Middle East and saves the region from war.
Laying the Foundation for The Ummah
Allah SWT has sent about 124,000 Prophets and Messengers throughout history but there is something special about Rasoolullah (peace be upon him). All previous Prophets came only to preach to their particular nation primarily, or to their specific tribe, but Rasoolullah (pbuh) came with the Message to all of mankind, until the end of time. Allah SWT says, “We have not sent you [O Muhammad] except as a messenger of good news and a warner to all people, but most people do not know” (Qur’an 34:28). Further, at the end of a long Hadith narrated by Jabir bin Abdullah (r), Rasoolullah (pbuh) said, “… Every Prophet used to be sent to his nation only, but I have been sent to all mankind” (al-Bukhari). Since Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was sent to all humanity, then as his true followers, we are required to spread the Message by utmost sincerity and effort because no more Prophets or Messengers will be sent, and this Divine Message must be delivered. Yes! As Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaa’ah [the people of the Sunnah and the Community who unite upon it], we do believe that in the end times, Prophet Jesus (a.s.) will be coming back, but he will not be coming with anything new. In fact, he will be following the Shari’ah of Muhammad (pbuh). Not judged by results Let us be clear that we will not be judged on the results in delivering this Message but on our efforts; the result is in the hands of Allah SWT. Today it seems that Da’wah revolves around numbers and speakers. In the Ahaadith it is reported in both Imaam al-Bukhari and Imaam Muslim that Rasoolullah (pbuh) said: “The nations were shown to me, and one or two Prophets would pass by me with a group [of followers], and a Prophet who had no one with him.” It is also narrated by at-Tirmidhi and an-Nasaa’i from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said, “When the Prophet (pbuh) was taken on the Night Journey [Isra’ and Me’raj], one or two Prophets would pass by him who had a community with them, and one or two Prophets who had a small group with them, and one or two Prophets who had no one with them, until he passed by a great multitude…” Yet, all these Prophets carried out their responsibilities in delivering the message of Tawheed (The Oneness and Uniqueness of Allah SWT) to their people and preached against anything their people worshipped besides Allah. So, we have to go out and deliver the Message of the deen. And we do so with the wisdom and the methodology shown to us by Rasoolullah (pbuh). Allah SWT commands, “Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good advice, and reason with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord knows best who has strayed from His path, and He knows best who is guided” (Qur’an 16:125). Dear brothers and sisters — living as a minority here in the U.S., we have this responsibility to deliver the true Message to both Muslims and non-Muslims. The freedom of assembly and speech we have may not last for long, and we will be held accountable for the opportunities Allah SWT gives us to share this Message. The question we should constantly ask ourselves it this: “Did we fulfill our responsibility in delivering this Message as commanded by Allah SWT and His Messenger?” In fact, we should deliver the Message to the fullest extent of our ability, even if our ability is very limited, as Rasoolullah (pbuh) said in a hadith narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (RA): “Convey from me, even if it is one verse.” Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar (may Allah’s mercy be upon him) said in his book, Fath al-Baari: about this Hadith: “’Even if it is one verse’ means that everyone who heard him (pbuh) would hasten to convey whatever he heard of the verses, even if it was very little, so that in this manner everything that he (pbuh) brought would be conveyed.” Another scholar explains this Hadith in the following way: “If a person understands what he is calling people to, it makes no difference whether he is a great and prominent scholar or a seeker of knowledge who is serious in his pursuit thereof, or a regular person who has certain knowledge of the issue in question. The Messenger (pbuh) said, ’Convey from me, even if it is one verse,’ and he did not stipulate that the Daa’iyah [one who invites to Islam] should have reached a high level of knowledge, but it is essential that he should have knowledge of that to which he is calling people. But calling out of ignorance or calling based on emotion is not permissible.” Read Other Articles on Message International How should we deliver this message of Islam to people? First, it is important to connect with the people as Rasoolullah (pbuh) did for 40 years of his life before receiving revelation. If we just give speeches to the people and do not interact with them, allowing them to know who we are, what our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors are in everyday and commonplace ways, then they are not very likely to give full attention to lectures, or be moved or inspired by them. Secondly, we should stand for justice for everyone in society. We know when Rasoolullah (pbuh) was given the news of his Prophethood by Angel Jibreel (a.s.), he went home and told Khadija (r) what had happened and expressed some worries about his experience. She told him, “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kin, help the poor and help the needy, serve your guests generously, and assist those afflicted by calamity.” Note that Khadija (r) described his virtuous behavior that he was known for before he had begun his mission as a Prophet. So, if we help other people in their social and economic affairs, in taking care of their needs, it opens the
Seerah Reflections: The Most Painful Day for Prophet Muhammad
When reading the biography of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), we find many examples of him enduring pain, abuse, persecution, opposition, and injustice in various forms. But what was the most difficult day of all? And how does reflecting on his painful experiences help us better understand his life and legacy? Studying the Prophet’s pain allows us to better appreciate his prophethood, his humanity, and the immense sacrifices he made. It enables us to more deeply value the final message of God, conveyed by the last messenger to humankind, and to feel gratitude for the opportunity to worship Allah and experience purpose and salvation through following His final message. As believers engage in discussions over secondary or minor issues within Islam, it would benefit us all to study the most challenging moments of the Prophet’s life (pbuh) in order to better understand the weight of the responsibility that comes with following him. One might consider the pain of the Makkan boycott, the torture of his followers, the death of his beloved wife Khadijah and his uncle Abu Talib in the same year (known as the Year of Sorrow), or the many battles where his companions were martyred. The Battle of Uhud stands out in particular because some of the archers disobeyed the Prophet’s command to stay on the mount. Their disobedience led to the loss of many lives, and the Muslims ultimately suffered a setback in the battle. After losing his two strongest supporters in Makkah, the Prophet (pbuh) sought to deliver the message of Islam to the people of Ta’if. However, they chased him away, pelting him and his companion Zayd with stones, injuring them both. The Prophet was offering them salvation, and they responded with cruelty and violence. A pivotal hadith from Bukhārī recounts this event. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, asked the Prophet (pbuh) “Have you ever experienced a day harder than the day of [the battle of] Uhud?” He replied: “Indeed, I have suffered a lot at the hands of your people [i.e., the disbelievers from of the Quraysh Tribe], the harshest of which was what they did to me on the Day of Al-‘Aqabah when I went to Ibn ‘Abd Yalīl ibn ‘Abd Kulāl with the purpose of inviting him to Islam, but he made no response [to my call]. So, I departed with deep distress. I did not recover until I arrived at Qarn Ath-Tha‘ālib.” According to Seerah, the Prophet’s distress was so great that he felt like he didn’t know where he was going and, as stated in the hadeeth, only recovered when he reached Qarn Ath-Tha’alib which was 4-5 miles (7-8 kilometers) away. Read Other Articles on Message International A Powerful and Heartfelt Supplication What did the Prophet (pbuh) do in such moments of pain? Once he reached the shade of a tree, he turned to Allah with a heartfelt supplication, recorded in the Seerah of Ibn Hisham: “O Allah! I complain to You of my weakness, my lack of resources, and my humiliation before the people. You are the Most Merciful of those who show mercy, and You are the Lord of the humble. To whom have You entrusted me? To someone who does not care for me? Or to a close relative whom You have given power over me? As long as You are not angry with me, I do not mind. However, Your protection is easier for me to seek. I seek refuge in the Light of Your Face, through which the darkness is illuminated, and through which the affairs of this world and the next are made right, lest Your anger descend upon me, or Your displeasure befall me. It is Your right to reprimand until You are pleased. There is no power nor strength except through You.” This powerful supplication teaches us so much about the Seerah and the Prophet’s humanity. It also shows us how to live in alignment with the Seerah, drawing inspiration from the greatest of role models, no matter the hardship. The du’a reminds us that pain is not always a sign of Allah’s displeasure with our actions. Even the most righteous individuals experience pain and trials. Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas asked, “O Messenger of Allah, which people are tested most severely?” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best. A man is put to trial according to his religion” (Tirmidhi). Pain does not necessarily mean one is distant from Allah, especially if one is striving to avoid major sins and disobedience. The life of the Prophet (pbuh) teaches us that the purpose of this world is based on Allah’s perfect wisdom, not our limited understanding or desires for relief. Paradise is the place of eternal bliss and happiness, free from pain and suffering for the righteous. This world, however, is one of tests, but we are reassured by the promise of an afterlife designed with perfect wisdom, where no hardship exists for those who attain Allah’s pleasure. Another important lesson from the Prophet’s supplication is the value of pouring one’s heart out to Allah in times of difficulty. We are permitted to complain to Allah, not about His decree, but about our own weakness in facing challenges. The believer should ask for relief, strength, forgiveness, and success, knowing that Allah is the ultimate source of change. We should instill in our children the habit of making du’a regularly and turning to Allah in times of need, especially in moments of sadness or hardship, seeking His strength and guidance. Notice the Prophet’s primary concern in his supplication: Allah’s pleasure. “As long as You are not angry with me, I do not mind.” We should also begin our supplications with the highest priorities, asking for Allah’s pleasure and forgiveness before presenting our personal requests. After that, we may ask for ease and relief, knowing that while we do not challenge Allah’s decree, we are permitted
Images From Seerah’s Album
Milestones Now, look at the second picture from this section. This is the early period of the Da’wah. So far, only a few people have pledged their submission to the Prophet ﷺ Mountains of hardship have fallen on them, some of them are laid down on burning sand under the weight of a heavy stone; some others are tied with ropes and chains and dragged about in the streets. There are still others who are laid on red embers of the fire. One of these oppressed people is Khabbab bin Al-Aratt (رض) He was forcibly laid on red embers to the point that the fat from his back melted and extinguished them. He presents himself before the Prophet ﷺ. He draws the picture further in the following words: “We complained to Allah’s Messenger ﷺ about our state while he was leaning against his sheet cloak in the shade of the Ka’bah. We said, ‘Will you ask Allah to help us? Will you invoke Allah for us?’ He said, Among those who were before you a (believer) used to be seized and a pit used to be dug for him and then he used to be placed in it. Then a saw used to be brought and put on his head, which would be split into two halves. His flesh might be combed with iron combs and removed from his bones, yet, all that did not cause him to revert from his religion. By Allah! This religion (Islam) will be completed (and triumph) till a rider (traveler) goes from Sana (the capital of Yemen) to Hadramout fearing nobody except Allah and the wolf, lest it should trouble his sheep, but you are impatient” — Sahih al-Bukhari You can see the milestones of your religious struggle with open eyes. First, the worship of the one and only God; secondly, the establishment of a society where no one is wronged, where the strong will be weak if they usurp the rights of others or oppress them, and the weak will be strong if their rights are taken unjustly, or they are oppressed. If only a goat dies of hunger in a far-flung area, it will make the ruler tremble out of a deep sense of accountability. Every Prophet gave the same advice to his people: Worship the one and only God! It was also revealed: We have already sent Our messengers with clear proof and sent down with them the Book and the balance that the people may maintain [their affairs] in justice — (Al-Hadid 57:25). The establishment of a just order through jihad and political power has been considered as helping Allah and his Messenger. Jihad is the physical struggle in the path of Allah. It can range from fighting a battle for Islamic justice to speaking out against oppression. And We sent down iron, wherein is great military might and benefits for the people, and so that Allah may make evident those who support Him and His messengers unseen — (Al-Hadid 57:25). Life Conditional on Worship On the way from Mecca to Medina, there is a small town called Badr. Here the road turns off the shores of the Red Sea and winds toward Medina. At a short distance, small hills surround a valley and sandy fields. ‘This is the second year after the immigration (Hijrah), and an incident will take place in this valley that will change the course of humanity from an alley of death to the highway of life. On one side are gathered all the prominent and influential leaders from that great center of ignorance, Mecca. On the other side, is a force comprising those who have responded to the call to God. They have joined the Prophet for 15 years. They include the best of Mecca and those who have responded to his call from Medina. On the side of falsehood and disbelief stands an army of 1,000 men with no shortage of horses and swords. On the side of truth and justice is a small group of slightly more than 300 believers with only two horses and a minimal number of blades. Sad bin Mu’adh (رض) has erected a booth on one of the small hills. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ sits under its shade with his cave friend, Abu Bakr Siddique. At night, the followers of the Prophet ﷺ enjoy a sound and refreshing sleep, a sign of divine favor, for it was Allah who covered them with slumber to give their minds and bodies extra rest. Nevertheless, the Prophet ﷺ spent the whole night in prayer and dua (supplication). He stands before the Lord who has sent him with duties of Messengership. At times he puts his forehead on the ground. It was a strange scene. The fate of Tawheed — the concept of the oneness of God — had depended upon only a few lives. The Prophet ﷺ was overwhelmed with a feeling of lowliness. He stretched forth his hands and said, “O Allah, accomplish for me what You have promised to me. O Allah, bring about what You have promised to me. O Allah, if this small group of Muslims is destroyed, You will not be worshipped on this earth.” (Sahih Muslim). Allah sustains Islam in this world by protecting the believers who worship Him. For this reason, the Prophet ﷺ pleaded to Allah in the final moments leading up to the Battle of Badr, giving the observation that “if this small group of Muslims is destroyed, You (Allah) will not be worshipped on this earth.” In other words, if Allah granted victory to the Muslims, then they and their descendants would be faithfully devoted to calling humanity to Allah, the one and only Lord of mankind. The Prophet’s dua was an expression of a request, want, and promise; it was a mission statement, too. The Prophet ﷺ didn’t say the destruction of the Muslim Ummah would cause civilization to perish, factories to vanish, science and technology to die, and
Supreme Court Ruling Harms the Homeless
In the United States, the homeless crisis continues to worsen. While the U.S. sends billions of dollars to other nations for military purposes and other aid, millions of Americans face the risk of homelessness or are already homeless. Housing advocates, legislators, and even the president have all recognized that the housing supply is insufficient and that the number of people in need of assistance has reached unprecedented levels. In states such as California, Washington, and Oregon, the housing crisis is a constant concern, partly due to laws that limit the policing of the homeless. With limited action from local officials to move individuals off the streets, these states have historically been areas where those facing housing insecurity seek refuge. However, this situation is changing. On June 28, 2024, the Supreme Court issued a ruling that negatively impacts the homeless. In the case of City of Grants Pass v. Johnson, the Court determined that laws related to camping on public property do not violate the Eighth Amendment. The case involved three ordinances enacted in Grants Pass, Oregon, a city with a population of 38,000 where an estimated 600 people were living on the streets. To address the homeless crisis, the city introduced ordinances that prohibited “sleeping on public sidewalks, streets, or alleys; camping on public property; and camping and overnight parking in city parks.” Violations of these ordinances result in escalating penalties that could ultimately result in criminal prosecution and jail time. In a class action lawsuit, two unhoused plaintiffs challenged the city of Grants Pass in U.S. District Court, arguing that the ordinances violate the Eighth Amendment’s prohibition against cruel and unusual punishment. Their case referenced two important precedents: Robinson v. California (1962): This Supreme Court decision found that a California law criminalizing narcotics addiction violated the Eighth Amendment because it punished individuals for their “status” rather than their actions. Martin v. City of Boise (2019): This Ninth Circuit Court case, which relied on Robinson, ruled that a Boise ordinance prohibiting camping on city streets and public places constituted cruel and unusual punishment. The ruling emphasized that ordinances cannot penalize unhoused individuals for acts they are compelled to commit due to a lack of available shelter space. Involuntarily Homeless In the Grants Pass suit, the plaintiffs argued that the lack of shelter openings made them “involuntarily” homeless, thereby forcing them to violate city ordinances due to the unavailability of shelter options. Although the District Court initially ruled in favor of the plaintiffs, ordering the city to cease enforcing the ordinances, the Supreme Court reversed this decision. The Supreme Court’s ruling was based on an interpretation of the Eighth Amendment’s “cruel and unusual punishment.” The Court found that the Eighth Amendment regulates the type of punishment a locality can impose but does not address whether certain actions should be punishable. The Court rejected the plaintiffs’ reliance on Robinson, stating that the Grants Pass ordinances did not punish individuals based on “mere status” but rather on their actions. They concluded that it does not matter whether an individual is homeless — the law applies to anyone found sleeping or camping in public places. Furthermore, the Court determined that the penalties imposed by the Oregon ordinances, including fines and jail time, did not constitute punishment designed to cause “terror, pain, or disgrace,” which are prohibited by the Eighth Amendment. Fines and jail time are standard forms of punishment throughout the U.S. for various criminal offenses. The Court also raised practical concerns, criticizing the Martin ruling as an “experiment” that was unworkable. They noted the challenges city officials would face in determining when someone is “involuntarily” homeless or has been denied shelter. The Court’s Real-life Consequences The Supreme Court’s decision has significant real-life consequences. Going forward, localities considering laws aimed at curbing homelessness through police sweeps will face less judicial resistance. Housing advocates will have fewer opportunities to challenge such laws, as the decision now limits only the type of punishment rather than the circumstances. Essentially, the Court’s ruling allows those who become homeless due to economic and racial realities to be criminalized. As a housing attorney, I have observed that this decision is already causing harm. In California cities, sweeps have increased, and those forced to dismantle their tents often receive no compensation for their belongings that get discarded in the process. The most vulnerable members of our communities are disproportionately affected. As Muslims, we are called to support those in need through acts of charity, zakat, and sadaqah. It is crucial that we back local organizations with donations to increase housing and protection for those unable to secure shelter for themselves.
1 Million Backpack
ICNA Relief’s Back2School Program As the school year approaches, many families face financial stress. The cost of school supplies and uniforms can be overwhelming, especially for low-income families. With the 2023 federal poverty level for a family of four at $30,000, lingering pandemic effects, high unemployment rates, and over 30 million students in free and reduced meal programs, countless parents struggle to provide essential school supplies. This lack of resources can hinder students’ confidence and success in school. Recognizing this challenge, ICNA Relief has made it their mission to empower students and strengthen communities through their annual Back2School Program. A Milestone Achievement This year marks a significant milestone for ICNA Relief, as the organization surpasses the distribution of 1 millionth backpack since the inception of the Back2School Program in 2008. What began as a small local effort has evolved into a nationwide campaign, providing backpacks filled with school supplies to children in need. Restoring Dignity The Back2School Program is about more than just distributing backpacks. It’s about restoring dignity and confidence to children as they begin the school year. Each backpack symbolizes an investment in a child’s future, showing them that their education matters. Community-Driven Success The success of ICNA Relief’s Back2School Program is built on the power of community collaboration. Partnering with local mosques, schools, businesses, and nonprofits, the initiative mobilizes thousands of volunteers who work tirelessly to ensure that children receive their supplies in time for the first day of school. Empowering the Next Generation ICNA Relief believes that education is key to breaking the cycle of poverty. By providing children with the necessary tools for success, the Back2School Program empowers the next generation and strengthens communities nationwide Version 2 As we approach the new school year, we must recognize the financial strain many families face. For low-income families, the cost of school supplies and uniforms can be overwhelming, especially with the lingering effects of the pandemic, high unemployment rates, and over 30 million students in free and reduced meal programs. Many parents struggle to provide essential school supplies, which can impact their children’s confidence and success in school. ICNA Relief has taken on the vital mission of empowering students and communities through its annual Back2School Program. This year marks a significant achievement for ICNA Relief, as the organization has surpassed the distribution of 1 million backpacks since the inception of the Back2School Program over 15 years ago. What started as a small local effort has grown into a nationwide campaign, providing backpacks filled with school supplies to children in need. The Back2School Program is about more than just distributing backpacks. It’s about restoring dignity and confidence to children as they begin the school year. Each backpack represents an investment in a child’s future, showing them that their education matters. The success of ICNA Relief’s Back2School Program relies on the power of community collaboration. By partnering with local mosques, schools, businesses, and nonprofits, the initiative mobilizes thousands of volunteers who work tirelessly to ensure that children receive their supplies in time for the first day of school. ICNA Relief believes that education is key to breaking the cycle of poverty. By providing children with the necessary tools for success, the Back2School Program empowers the next generation and strengthens communities nationwide🎒✨ Check out our recent school supply and backpack giveaway featured on WGN TV. https://icna.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/WhatsApp-Video-2024-08-29-at-8.45.12-PM.mp4
What if your loved ones oppose your conversion?
Laura El Alam When people first embrace Islam, they are often filled with energy, optimism, and positivity. The joy of connecting with their Creator and discovering His plan for humanity makes them feel like they have a new lease on life. When they share their new mindset and lifestyle with their loved ones, they might experience a variety of reactions. In the best case scenario, their friends and family are willing to listen, learn, and support them on their journey. Sadly, that is not always the case. Some new Muslims face opposition, hostility, and rejection. They are ostracized by their family or abandoned by their friends. What should you do if your loved ones reject you because you became a Muslim? 1. Try not to be too worried if their initial reaction is negative. People’s hearts can soften over time. If someone responds in a way that is unsupportive, challenging, or upsetting, you should remind yourself that it might just take a while–months, or even years– for their feelings to settle. Some people find change to be extremely hard to cope with, but over time, many can adapt and broaden their outlook. 2. Don’t try to convince them of Islam by debating, arguing, or attacking their religion. You might feel like you now understand the Truth and you want to share it with them. However, pressure tactics usually backfire. Instead, focus on showing the beauty of Islam through your actions. Be as kind, gentle, and helpful as you can. This will teach them about Islam more than any lecture could, and it will also reassure them that the “new you” is positive, wholesome, and more loveable than ever. 3. Decide who is worth your efforts. In Islam, maintaining family ties is extremely important. If the people who are opposing your conversion are your parents, siblings, or other close family members, you should make a sincere effort to preserve your relationship with them, and God will reward you for any patience you display. On the other hand, if a friend, colleague, neighbor, or acquaintance rejects you because you chose to become a Muslim, you might want to consider whether this person really deserves to be a part of your life. A worthy person will try to understand your point of view, support you, and want the best for you. So, if someone outside of your close family refuses to respect your new lifestyle, then they are probably not deserving of your emotional energy. Save your efforts for the people who truly matter. 4. Once you have determined that someone is worth your effort and energy, you will need to summon up a lot of patience. If they are unhappy with your conversion, they will likely question your beliefs and possibly even debate or argue with you. One helpful thing to remind them (and yourself) is that each and every one of us is in charge of our own soul. Our primary responsibility is to our personal connection with God, and other people’s approval and opinions do not matter in the crucial decision of Whom to worship. We can still love and respect our family without letting their negativity affect our core beliefs. We can also choose not to debate or argue, especially if the other party is not listening to our point of view. 5. Understand that a variety of emotions might lie behind negative reactions. What looks like anger is often a manifestation of different feelings: fear (of losing you, or of stereotypes they have about Muslims), anxiety (about how their life and/or your relationship might change now that you are a Muslim), sadness, or even insecurity. It’s quite possible that they aren’t aware of their true feelings, or they don’t know how to identify – much less verbalize – their feeling of “I love you and I don’t want to lose you.” If someone is lashing out when you tell them about your decision to embrace Islam, you can say something like, “I can see this is hard for you to accept right now. Just know that I love you and I intend to keep being a good daughter/sister/friend to you. Someday I hope you will find a way to support me because I am happy with my choice, and my dedication to Islam is making me a better person.” 6. Recharge your battery with supportive people. All the negativity can be draining and might even take a toll on your iman (state of heart, or spiritual health). Make sure to spend time with Muslims who teach and inspire you. If possible, join a class for converts to learn more about your faith, make friends, and find sympathetic listeners. If you find that certain people in your life are so toxic that they are making you doubt Islam, then take a break from those people. Nothing is more important than your faith, and you must guard it carefully.
Advice to The Women Struggling to Find a Spouse
In a previous article, I presented the accounts of a number of Muslim women who are seeking a spouse. They encountered many obstacles in their search, as these women were quite determined to find a prospective husband who practices Islam in a sincere and determined way. What strategies have they tried? In their quest to find their soul mate, single women pursue various avenues, both traditional and modern. The following accounts have been shared with me by two women. Their names have been changed for privacy reasons. Lina says, “I have told friends and family I am looking for someone, but no one seems to know anyone they could introduce me to. I have tried two different matchmakers — one of them was ridiculously expensive and thought she had the right to tell me I was too fussy if I didn’t want to meet someone, since she didn’t actually take the time to ask me what I was looking for or take my deal breakers into account when picking someone for me to meet.” “I have also tried in-person events,” she continues. “The ones that are like speed dating are awful and I stay away from those because you can’t have meaningful conversations with anyone that way. There are lots to choose from these days, so it takes some trial and error to find the type of event that works for you.” Aminah says she has tried to find a spouse “by word of mouth (through family and friends), Muslim marriage/dating apps, Muslim social events, Muslim marriage events, WhatsApp groups, and mosque matrimonial services.” Not all have been very helpful. “The apps are geared towards making you pay for subscriptions and keeping you on there as a member for as long as possible,” she says, “and I did not meet anyone through a WhatsApp group or Muslim marriage event.” Some women question — Why get married at all? If the husband search is so stressful, and high-quality Muslim men are apparently so hard to find — why do women persevere? “I want a companion to experience life with,” says Lina. “There is only so much I want to do on my own or with friends. There are experiences and goals I want to achieve with my husband, like going for hajj with them. I want to have children of my own which is a very big thing I would like to do in my life. It is from the sunnah to get married, and there are blessings that become open to you only when you are married. I want to experience this.” Aminah says, “It is the only way we as Muslims can experience physical affection and intimacy, have children, and build a family. I want to get married to safeguard myself from haram, for emotional support and companionship. I also want my bloodline to continue and for my offspring to love and worship Allah (SWT) and follow the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) until the day of qiyamah [resurrection], as a means of sadaqah jaariyah [ongoing charity] for me after I die.” “It is quite a solitary, lonely life without a partner,” Aminah explains. “In Muslim culture and society, there is a real obsession with marriage, and women who are not married past a certain age are not respected.” Aminah believes her age is the main thing holding her back. “I started the marriage search when I was twenty-nine, not having family support in my search. I let people waste my time, and it was difficult to find someone of similar age, educational background, professional status, halal/haram ratio. The majority of men my age (along with their families) are looking for a wife much younger.” “As a divorcee,” says Lina, “I am clear on what I am looking for and what my deal breakers are. I am not prepared to get married for the sake of being married if it means sacrificing my peace or putting my imaan [faith] at risk. Some may say I’m picky, but I believe I have standards which I enforce so I don’t go through what I have endured in the past. I also need someone who can be patient and understanding with me, as I still have some triggers from my past marriage that come up when I discuss marriage and past experiences with potential husbands.” Advice for women seeking to marry Is there anything women can do to avoid heartache and disappointment in their search for a husband? Although they have not yet found their own soulmates, Aminah and Lina have learned some important lessons along the way. They offer this advice to fellow single Muslimahs: “I would encourage women to have their wali [guardian, protector] involved straight away, as there is wisdom in this, and it is a protection,” says Lina. “Don’t be afraid to ask as many questions as possible and as soon as possible. Don’t meet anyone until you have a list of your needs, wants, and deal breakers. DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR NEEDS OR DEAL BREAKERS. Make sure your values and future goals are similar. Know your love language, personality type, and attachment type. Find out theirs and consider this in your decision.” “Don’t be afraid to have disagreements when getting to know someone,” adds Lina, “as it will show you their conflict resolution style and whether they have the humility to apologize. While being able to communicate well is paramount, it becomes more important if they can continue this during disagreements. Pay attention to how they make you feel in good and difficult interactions. Trust this instinct. You may have to sit with this emotion and figure out why you feel this way, as it may have to do more with you than them.” “Always consult others and have them meet a potential man BEFORE you decide if it will progress,” continues Lina. “Others can often see traits/red flags/good characteristics that you do not see and give you food for thought or the confidence to proceed. Consider
